to those who don’t eat breakfast

growing up, i ate breakfast every morning. but after moving away from home, that habit just… disappeared. hit play and join me on a journey down memory lane, to where it all began, how it slowly disappeared, and everything in between. 

Transcript

Hi, welcome back to Coffee with JM. If you're new here, nice to meet you. I'm JM. And if you've been here since last week, thank you so much for coming back. Because I honestly wasn't sure if anybody would, so yeah, I appreciate it.

Today's episode is dedicated to a very specific group of people. Those who don't eat breakfast. If you're one of them, let me ask you. Why is that? Is it because you never have time when you wake up? Because you're too lazy to make one? Because you can't be bothered to think about what to eat? Because your stomach just doesn't feel great in the morning? Or is it simply not part of your routine anymore, and you've never really thought about changing it? For me, it's actually all of the above. And yes, I'm one of those people who don't eat breakfast about 95% of the time, I'd say. For the remaining 5%, it's when I go back home to Hong Kong, my home city, where my parents have a routine of eating breakfast every morning. So naturally, when I go back, I just adapt to their lifestyle. Growing up with my parents, I actually used to eat breakfast every single day. I used to have an actual breakfast routine. And then one day... I don't even remember when... I just stopped. This whole thing just stopped existing. And somehow, the habit never came back. So today, I want to go down memory lane with you all, trace it back to the beginning, and figure out when things started to change. And more importantly... why they changed.

Now before we dive in, let's do the Coffee Check. This is the little ritual in each episode where I share with you guys the coffee I'm having today. Well... today's drink isn't actually coffee. It's an iced matcha latte. Yeah, before you guys say anything, I know, I know. It's only the second episode. It's only the second Coffee Check, and I'm already breaking the rules by not drinking coffee. But you guys, matcha contains caffeine, right? So it's still kind of on topic. Or does it not count? Never mind. I apologise, guys. We'll go back to coffee next time. But today I was really craving a matcha latte, so here it is. Anyway, this one is from Tokkia. It's a Korean matcha house in London. One of my friends recommended this place to me because apparently they do really good matcha, so I thought I'd give it a try. I actually wasn't a matcha person for the longest time. If you gave me the choice between coffee and matcha, I'd choose coffee every single time. And I never really used to randomly crave matcha drinks or desserts either. Until a couple of weeks ago, I went to a café with one of my friends, and that was the first time I suddenly thought, "You know what? I kind of want to try a matcha latte." So I ordered one. I took the first sip, and my immediate reaction was, "Hmm... I don't think it's really good." It tasted kind of strange. A little bit grassy. I couldn't quite describe how I felt at that moment, but in my head I was just thinking, This doesn't make sense to me. So I passed it to my friend and asked her to try it. Then she went, "No, this is actually really good. Girl... matcha just really tastes like this." And then there was that moment where I was like, "Oh... alright." And that's how unfamiliar I used to be with matcha. I didn't even know what a proper matcha was supposed to taste like. But for some reason, over the past few weeks, after that café meetup with my friend, I've slowly started developing a love for it. I don't know where this came from, but it is what it is. And this drink... I actually really like it. The matcha flavour is strong enough that you can actually taste it. It's earthy, slightly bitter, and doesn't get completely drowned out by the milk. Because I feel like a lot of the matcha lattes I've had in the UK just taste like green milk. They're sweet, they're creamy, they have this nice shade of green... but I can't really taste the matcha. Apparently, good ones are harder to find than I thought. This one doesn't do that. So if you're a matcha person, or you're slowly becoming one like me, I'd recommend giving this place a try. Alright. Now that we've got our drinks... let's talk about breakfast.

At first, when I started thinking about this whole "Oh, I'm not having breakfast anymore" thing, I actually wondered, is it really that important? Do I really need to treat it as a concern? Do I actually need to reflect on it? Because I've been skipping breakfast for what... a couple of years now? At least? I think? And I'm living perfectly fine. I don't really have major health problems. Well, I do get back pain, headaches, and stomach problems quite easily. I also get sick from time to time, but it's not like I'm experiencing health issues that are directly associated with not eating breakfast. At least, not that I'm aware of. So then I became curious. Generally speaking, is breakfast actually a good thing? Is it really good for your health? Is it something worth making part of your routine? Because if it is, then maybe skipping breakfast has been causing some hidden harm over the years, and I just haven't realised it yet. Maybe I should start eating breakfast again. But if there isn't actually anything particularly beneficial about eating breakfast, if it's just a widely accepted belief that eating breakfast automatically means you're healthier, then maybe I don't need to be so bothered about not having it, right? There are so many different opinions on the internet about breakfast that it's honestly really confusing. There's the traditional saying, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Then there are people saying, "Actually, skip breakfast." Then, in recent years, intermittent fasting suddenly became a huge trend, and people started saying skipping breakfast is a form of doing it, so if you want to try it, you should give it a go. And then someone else comes along and says, "No, intermittent fasting is ruining your metabolism and you shouldn't do that." So at this point, I don't even know who to believe anymore. And I'm nowhere near being a professional when it comes to nutrition science. So I thought, let me do some research. I Googled it. Then I ended up reading this BBC article that looked at decades of research on breakfast. It turns out that researchers still debate whether breakfast itself is the reason some people are healthier, or whether people who regularly eat breakfast also tend to have a healthier lifestyle in general. What kept coming up was that instead of obsessing over whether breakfast is important, we should look at our eating habits as a whole. Eat when you're hungry, have balanced meals, and don't expect one good breakfast in one day to magically fix an otherwise unbalanced lifestyle. So I guess the answer isn't as black and white as I expected. It seems like it's actually quite personal. What works well for one person might not work well for someone else. But besides that, there were a few things that also kept showing up throughout the article. It said that eating earlier in the day seems to work better with our body's natural rhythm. Some studies also found that people who eat breakfast tend to have steadier blood sugar, and breakfast has been linked to things like better concentration and memory. So after reading all that, I think I do want to try bringing breakfast back into my routine. At least try it for a while and see. I want to see if it helps me build a better daily system and whether it's something that genuinely suits me. Actually... I think it will be. It probably will be. Because, as I said earlier, I used to be a breakfast person.

If I trace it all the way back, I think my relationship with breakfast starts with my mum. She was, and still is, a very healthy person. Actually, both my parents are, but my mum especially. She has always believed that breakfast is something you simply can't skip. It wasn't even a discussion. It was just a fact. I grew up hearing things like, "You have to eat breakfast before you start your day. You can't survive until the afternoon without eating a single bite of food." I don't actually know whether she got that from science, traditional Chinese beliefs, or just from being an Asian mum. Maybe all three. Maybe all three. But she believed it. She believed it very strongly. And because she believed it, I believed it too. Well... actually, I don't think I really had a choice. When I was in kindergarten and primary school, life was so simple. Every weekday looked almost exactly the same. I'd wake up around seven, get changed, pack my school bag, eat breakfast, leave the house, and then the next day, repeat. Everything was so well structured, and I never really had to think about what came next because the adults had already planned it all out for me. Breakfast was just one of those things. It happened every single morning. I'd have whatever my mum made for me. Sometimes it was two eggs with some fruit on the side. Sometimes a pastry with fruit on the side. Sometimes dumplings. There was also this breakfast that she liked to make. It was more of a Chinese-style macaroni. She'd cook macaroni in chicken broth, then add cabbage and an egg into it. So yeah, nothing particularly fancy, but I did use to have really balanced breakfasts. Oh, and my mum also had really strong opinions about eating clean. Take pastries, for example. I'm from Hong Kong, and if you've ever been to a Hong Kong bakery, you'll know there are so many different kinds of buns. Sausage buns, pineapple buns, tuna buns... And apparently, according to my mum, they all had different health rankings. Come on, guys. Let me introduce you to her tier list. For S tier, there were tuna buns. Because... well, protein. And I also think she genuinely just loves tuna herself. For A tier, we had vegetable and pork buns. They had vegetables, and the pork filling was steamed, so they seemed lower in oil and salt. Healthy enough. And then, right at the bottom of the list, were sausage buns. Those were basically banned in our household. According to my mum, they were highly processed, packed with sodium, and just... not healthy at all. Along with the food, there was always milk. There always had to be milk. Sometimes plain milk. Sometimes chocolate milk. Because milk contains calcium, and once again, according to my mum, that meant it was good for our health. Looking back now, I actually really respect how much thought my mum put into our breakfasts. Keeping this routine throughout primary school was quite easy because I had time for it. My primary school was only about a 15-minute walk from home, so I didn't have to wake up super early. I'd still have plenty of time to sit down, eat breakfast at my own pace, and then head to school. And I never really had to do any of the thinking or practical work myself. I didn't have to remind myself to eat breakfast. I didn't have to decide what to eat. I didn't have to make it. I just sat down and ate. Gosh... I was so lucky. And actually, pretty spoiled, I'd say. But when you're ten years old, you don't really realise how much you should appreciate those little things. Then I moved into secondary school. And that's when I actually started getting annoyed by this whole breakfast routine. It just felt so inconvenient.

My secondary school was much further away from home than my primary school. I had to commute for more than half an hour every morning. Suddenly, I had to wake up earlier, travel further, and every extra minute in bed just felt really precious. All I wanted to do was sleep until the very last minute, get changed, and rush out of the door. To me, breakfast was the only thing that felt optional, the only thing I could sacrifice. But my mum didn't think so. This didn't exactly go down well with her. Every morning became a negotiation. My mum would be like, "Come eat breakfast," and I'd be like, "No, I'm late." Then she'd say, "Just a few bites," and I'd say, "No, I don't have time." Then she'd look at me with that look. You know the one. So in the end, I'd be standing by the dining table with my school bag already on my back, sometimes with one shoe on, desperately looking at the clock while shoving pieces of bread, slices of orange, or whatever else into my mouth. I remember being so annoyed. Like... irrationally annoyed. Because this whole thing stressed me out every single morning. I'd wake up already feeling stressed. While I was getting ready, all I could think was, "Be quick, so you still have time for breakfast. So you won't need to argue with Mum." And you know how it is in the morning. You've just woken up, you're rushing to get to school, you're already not in your best mood, and then this extra pressure of having to make time for breakfast just made everything feel worse. So yeah, if you told sixteen-year-old JM that one day nobody would force her to eat breakfast anymore... oh my God, she would've been so thrilled. I would've celebrated. Looking back now, I actually don't think I hated breakfast itself. I think breakfast represented a lack of freedom back then. It represented my mum telling me what to do. And I couldn't wait for the day when nobody reminded me anymore, when I could finally decide for myself. Somehow, when you're a teenager, freedom just feels like saying no to everything your parents tell you to do. And for some reason, we're all convinced that we know better.

And then that day finally came. The day I could finally decide for myself whether I wanted to eat breakfast or not. I moved to the UK for university. And for... I don't even remember how long... this felt amazing. Wait... actually, let me take that back. Saying it felt amazing wasn't entirely accurate. I didn't really feel anything, to be honest. Because I don't even remember consciously thinking about breakfast. It wasn't like I woke up one day and proudly decided, "Oh, I'm never going to eat breakfast again." It just quietly faded out of my life, I guess. When my parents were no longer there to remind me, I simply lost track of this whole idea of breakfast time. And before I knew it, skipping breakfast had just become my new normal. That's the thing about freedom as an adult. It's not all glitz and glamour. Yes, independence means you can now do whatever you want. But it also comes with the immediate catch of total responsibility. When no one is there to remind you to pay your bills, make your breakfast, or keep your life on track, it doesn't mean those things suddenly stop mattering, and you can just throw them all away. It means you're the one who's responsible for them now. You're the one who has to build your own structure. You're the one who has to be accountable for yourself, figure out the routines and systems that actually work for you, and then stick to them even when nobody is there to tell you to. That's kind of the typical cheesy lesson you hear most often about your twenties. I know. I know. But it's also definitely easier said than done. At least it is for me.

So let's dig a little deeper into why it's difficult. Why do I struggle with this? Or maybe, if you're also someone who doesn't eat breakfast, or someone who's trying to build your own lifestyle routines... let's figure it out together. I think it consists of two parts. The first part is figuring out what even deserves a place in your life. Growing up, I never really questioned my routines. I just followed them. I ate breakfast because breakfast happened at half past seven every morning. I never stopped to ask myself, "Does this actually work for me? Do I genuinely feel better after eating breakfast? Would my mornings be different if I skipped it?" No. But now, given that the household rules are gone, and if I'm going to build my own rules, I have to rewrite everything. I have to figure out what actually suits me and what doesn't. Everything becomes a process of trial and error, or like... experiments. Let's use an example other than breakfast. I'm getting bored of talking about it. Take exercise, for example. Maybe you're someone who loves going to the gym first thing in the morning. Maybe you absolutely hate that. Maybe you perform much better at night. Maybe the gym isn't your thing. Maybe you love hot yoga instead. Or maybe hot yoga isn't for you either. Maybe you enjoy swimming, even in freezing cold winter. Or maybe you like all of them and rotate between different types of exercise throughout the week. You don't really know until you try.

Breakfast is kind of the same. Maybe eating breakfast gives you more energy and focus throughout the morning. Or maybe you realise you're naturally not hungry until lunchtime, and forcing yourself to eat first thing doesn't actually make you feel any better. You won't know until you give yourself enough time to figure it out. Oh... and actually, that's the key point. When you're experimenting with your routines, you can't just try something for two or three days and then decide, "Yep, this worked," or "That doesn't." I used to do exactly that. I'm quite an impatient person. I like seeing immediate results. So I've actually tried bringing breakfast back into my life many times since I started living alone. Every now and then, I'd wake up one morning with this sudden boost of motivation. I'd think, "Right, JM. Starting today, let's become a morning person. I'm going to eat something healthy before I start my day." Then I'd make myself a bowl of cereal, some yoghurt with granola, or peanut butter and banana toast. Oh my God, I actually love that one. Then I'd sit there eating it, thinking, "Yeah. This feels good. I should definitely keep doing this." Then the next morning came. My alarm rang. I hit snooze. Woke up late. And once again, breakfast became the only thing I was willing to sacrifice. It was always this random wave of motivation, but never a long enough period of consistency for it to become a habit. I always stopped before I could reach any concrete conclusion. Maybe if I'd kept eating breakfast for a month, I would've noticed a difference. But I never did. And that's where the second part comes in. Discipline. The challenge isn't just trying something once. It's continuing to show up, even on mornings when you don't feel like it. It's staying committed to the experiment. Giving yourself enough time to figure out what works for you. I feel like it's so easy to give up. Or it's very tempting to get lazy. Because you're constantly pushing yourself into this discomfort of doing something when you're not even sure whether it'll pay off in the end. But I guess that's just the price we have to pay. If we want to become someone who understands ourselves a little better. Someone who takes better care of ourselves. Someone who's able to build a life that genuinely works for us. And ultimately, someone who knows how to love ourselves in the best way possible.

Alright, alright. I think that's enough talking about breakfast for one day. That's enough talking about breakfast for one day. If you're listening to this in the morning and you don't usually eat breakfast, and you're not sure whether this is meant for you, maybe this is your sign to make yourself something before you start your day. I mean, test it out. Why not, right?

Okay. Thank you so much for going on another coffee date with me. Thank you so much. I'm starting to feel more comfortable hanging out with you all, and I hope you feel the same way too. Now, finish your coffee, take good care of yourself, and I'll see you next Thursday.

Bye.