i don't know how to start a podcast

as mentioned in the title, i'm starting this without quite knowing how to. so i made an episode about exactly that. hit play to embrace the mess with me.

correction: i meant "see you next thursday," not wednesday. new episodes every thursday. consider this part of the starting-off chaos.

Transcript

Hi, let's start with a bold confession. I don't know how to start a podcast. Which you might find a little funny, or now you might wonder, then what the hell is this? Because you have literally clicked onto this podcast and have listened to me talk for a few seconds already. Before you think it's some sort of like weird advertisement and click out, let me explain. So clearly at some point I did manage to start one, and when I say I don't know how to podcast, I don't necessarily mean that I don't know which microphone to buy, you know, like where to upload episodes, how to figure out cover arts, and all that stuff. Those are things you can research. Type how to start a podcast on YouTube, and you'll find hundreds of tutorials walking you through the process step by step. My struggle is more mental. It's like I'm kind of blocked inside. Okay, I know it sounds vague, so let me give you all some context. Let me set the scene for you guys.

 The idea of doing a podcast started a year or more ago. In March to April 2025. I was in a phase of my life where I wasn't doing really well. I was going through a breakup, dealing with some family issues, and also struggling with depression. While on top of these, I was in my last year at university, and I had to keep up academically so I could graduate, and you know, move into a new chapter of my life, which is living as an adult. Well, technically, I was already an adult, like during uni days. But what I mean is, being identified as one according to age and becoming a working adult is so different. The first one didn't really hit me, but the second one did. I was like, oh shit, I gotta be paying council tax next year. I don't have a student discount anymore. I need not to apply to internships anymore because you know what I should be applying to are graduate jobs, like the actual ones, permanent roles. Could you imagine that? I couldn't. Back then, I couldn't. Which, to this day, I think still feels strange having to identify myself as a working adult. Like, are we all just like pretending? Are we doing cosplays? Because I feel like it most of the time. Nobody actually knows what they're doing, right? Or is it just me? Anyway, back to the story. Being in such transitional periods in almost all aspects of my life while having fluctuating mental health is really hard. I reminisce about the good old days a lot. I literally use them to fuel up myself, to make myself feel better every day. And I'd want to stay in that fantasy of the past forever. There were days when I would lie in bed like a skeleton and just let time pass. I try not to wake up or stay in that dizzy state so I can keep myself away from the reality. It was really hard for me to accept and feel the swell change in things, and to just go with it; it's really hard. There's a problem of disconnecting yourself with the reality. There's a problem in it. You're also disconnecting yourself with the rest of the world. I was living in the past, but others aren't. People go on work, go on dates, go on holidays, you know, like dinners, brunch, everything, just as usual. The world operates normally, and it's like I was observing it from behind a glass wall, with just me, myself, and I. It was lonely. I couldn't stand how quiet everything felt. So that's when I started listening to podcasts. Because I wanted something to fill up the silence. I would put on an episode as I woke up, and be listening to podcasts while, you know, like washing up, while cleaning, going to school, eating, etc, etc. And slowly I realised that they weren't just entertaining me or like filling up the silence, but also accompanying me, like being a friend. I would let the voice of the podcaster accompany me to the washroom, and then while I brush my teeth, it felt like there's a friend standing next to me yapping about random shit. And that actually makes me feel less alone. It made me feel more grounded, like there was this medium that somehow connected me, my isolated ass, with the rest of the world. So looking backwards, I'll say I believe podcast was one of the key things that helped me slowly pull myself out of that rut. And somehow during that period, I remember thinking like, you know what? I should start a podcast. I have spent months listening to podcasts, I love them, and I also got a lot of thoughts in my head all the time. So I thought that could actually be fun, you know, to share them in a podcast. I got excited real quick. But then I hit my first wall even quicker, and that leads us to our first challenge. 

Before we dive deep into all the challenges I encounter while trying to start this podcast, let me share with you the coffee I'm having today. I think this is going to become a little ritual moving forward. Basically, in every episode, I'll tell you what coffee I'm having while we're chatting. Like, let's do a coffee check. Today's coffee is my everyday go-to. An iced oatmilk latte. And before anyone imagines me doing some barrister routine every morning, using espresso machines, grinding beans, absolutely not. Sorry to disappoint you guys. Although I name this podcast Coffee With JM, I usually only make coffee in the most unprofessional way possible. I use instant coffee powder. Yep. I use instant coffee powder. Because it's simple. And because I don't actually have the other equipment at home. Well, I do have a moka pot, but I use induction hobs in my house, and it's really hard for the hobs, like their magnetic sensor, to sense the small base of the moka pot. So yeah, I can't really use that. And instant coffee is just quicker. I think going forward, this coffee check will actually be my excuse to explore more cafes around London. Oh, yeah, by the way, I live in London. So hopefully in future episodes, I'll be trying coffees from different cafes around the city, and sharing them with you in this little segment place. Alright, coffee check's complete. Now, let me actually get into the topic.

The first challenge was this. What exactly do I have to say? Because every successful creator seems to have a thing, you know? Like they're known for something. There's the finance people, psychology people, business people, fashion people, you name it. And I remember I would watch those " How-to podcast" tutorials. And they'd be like: Identify your niche, find your target audience, position yourself, be clear about the value you're providing. Okay... so let's think, JM. What can your podcast be about? What can you bring to the table? And I genuinely couldn't think of an answer. Like, nothing. Absolutely nothing. And then that thought sent me down a spiral. I then started asking myself questions like, " Why would anyone listen to me? Why would anyone want to spend 30 minutes listening to a random stranger talk? What value could I possibly provide?" Actually, I don't think these are podcast questions right now. They are more like quarter-life crisis questions disguised as podcast ones. Okay. Wow. It's like I'm asking who am I? What am I good at? What is my place in this world? I do not have the answer to these questions right now. I don't think I'm particularly good at one thing, or can fit neatly into one category. So probably nor could my podcast, right? But yeah, actually, if we trace back to the very beginning of why do I listen to podcasts, and why do I love them so much, I think it's that I enjoy the company. That's it. The podcasts that meant to me the most weren't necessarily the smartest, the most educational ones. Nope. They're just people talking, sharing experiences, silly little things. So if I am to do one, let's go down this route. Let's just do this. I don't need to have my entire life figured out before I'm allowed to speak, right? So yeah. I still don't have the answer for what exactly do I have to say. Sorry if you guys are waiting for the reveal. Sorry to crack that to you guys. We don't have that. I still don't know my niche. So going forward, each episode will be random things that I'd like to talk about. Random observations, stories, questions. It's gonna be just me experiencing life, noticing things in life about being human, and then inviting you all to sit down, have a coffee, and just hang out with me.

The second challenge was learning how to talk. Okay, I know this sounds ridiculous. Cause I've been talking my entire life. What? For like 22 years now. Yeah, by the way, age reveal. I'm 22. Do I look like a 22-year-old to you guys? Cause you know what? Apparently, when I were in those age-guessing games, I've only experienced being guessed older than my actual age. It's always: Oh, you're like 24, 25. But never 22 or younger. So I don't know. What do you think? Maybe this is one of the upsides of doing a video podcast. Let me just use it wisely. Now that we all see my face, tell me, people, do I actually look older than 22? Or are most people I met in real life and played that age- guessing game with all just have eyesight problems? Or do they all just secretly hate me so they kind of subtly bully me in that way? Anyways, back to the topic. Yeah, so I've been talking for 22 years. And I'm the type of person who's introverted when you first meet, but would yap like crazy when we get familiar with each other. If you're my close friend, you'll know it. Oh my god, I never shut up. There was one time when I was on the phone with my best friend, and we talked like 11 hours straight, without pause. Obviously, we drink water, we go to the toilet, but we still talk the whole time. 11 hours. Can you imagine that? So yeah, when I thought of like starting a podcast, I never thought that talking itself would be a problem for me. The first time I realised this is a problem was when I was at my friend's place. He's a content creator, and we were talking about content creation and filming videos. At one point, he brought up this thing he's also been learning, which is how to speak more naturally and fluently in front of a camera, or like when there's a microphone around. And that was when I realised, oh wait, I have never actually thought about that. Because I've tried practising speaking in a room with myself to see if I can articulate thoughts without having a full-on script, or see if I can talk on my own without another person joining in the conversation, and that's all smooth and well. But I never practised while holding up a camera or a microphone. My friend then suddenly pulled out a microphone from somewhere in his room. We were literally just having a normal conversation, and he placed the microphone in the middle of the table, pretending that we were filming something. Then we started taking turns pointing the microphone at ourselves just to see if we could still talk normally. And when the microphone was pointed at me, I froze. I completely froze. We had literally been chatting perfectly fine a second ago, and suddenly, I just couldn't speak anymore. That's when I realised that I actually did have this problem. I actually did have this problem. The moment there is a microphone in front of me, I forget how to speak. I forgot how to talk. This is really concerning. Cause I was trying to start a podcast, a thing that quite literally requires you to talk into a microphone. Every time I pull out the microphone and start recording, my brain would be like: Oh, I'm being perceived. Then I become hyperconscious of little things about myself. Like how do I sound? Should my voice be higher, more energetic? Should I sound calmer? Do I blink too much? Are my hand gestures natural, or am I moving my hands in a really awkward way? Do all podcasters out there just know what to do with their hands when they first started? Because apparently I don't. Apparently, I don't. I still think I'm kind of awkward right now. I'm a perfectionist, by the way. So I always had this image in my head of what podcasters should sound like. Confident, articulate, charismatic. And being so unnatural in front of the camera or when a microphone is around just made me not even close to that image. I've filmed episodes before. Let me be honest with you guys. This is the fourth take. And the previous ones they all failed. In those takes, I started editing myself while I was speaking. And then, I get into my own head, and I'd be aware that I am editing myself. And then, become more aware that I am aware. It's like being trapped in this cycle, in this loop of self-awareness, and I don't even know how to exist naturally anymore. Okay, there's this metaphor that y'all probably can relate with. It's like when you're trying really hard to fall asleep, and you'll be like: Okay, sleep now. I have to sleep. Please just fall asleep. And then the more you try to sleep, the more awake you become. I think that's also how authenticity works. The harder you try to be natural, the less natural you become. So to break through, I have to stop imagining there are audiences. I have to stop thinking there are people perceiving me, judging me, expecting anything from me. Instead, let me just imagine a friend. Let me just imagine a friend. Sitting across from me at a coffee shop. Let's say you texted me yesterday and be like: Hey, how have you been? Do you want to grab a coffee tomorrow? And we're just catching up today, on a random Saturday afternoon. Talking about life, about whatever's been on our mind. I'm not this perfect podcast host. I'm just me. Oh, which actually brings us to the name of this podcast. Coffee With JM. JM isn't my name growing up. Nobody has ever called me that. When I was trying to come up with a podcast name, I knew I wanted something that felt personal, of course. So I thought of my Chinese name. My second Chinese character in my name can be broken down into two parts. And when translated, the first part actually means jade. Yeah, jade, like the crystal rock. And the other means moon. So I thought, Jade Moon. Which, okay, sounds a bit weird, a little like I might be selling crystals online. So maybe not. But I do like the concept of it. Then it just hit me. I should use the initials. J and M. So that's how JM was born. And afterwards, I had another realisation. JM could actually stand for "Just me". And I love that. I love that. Because that's exactly what we were talking about. Exactly what I want this podcast to feel like. Just me and just us. So yeah, anyways, if you find me not knowing where to look from time to time, sounding a little bit unnatural, let me be. I'll improve and get more comfortable along the way, and I hope time will show. But at least now that I'm not aiming to sound the best way possible, I'm not trying to perform anymore, now that I lowered the bar for myself, I feel less pressure. And actually, I can automatically speak more naturally in front of this podcast setting right here. This is the first step. And sometimes we just should be patient with ourselves.

The final challenge was I don't know how to market this podcast. Because nowadays, doing a podcast isn't just about doing a podcast. You don't just sit down, record an episode, upload it to Spotify, YouTube, and call it a day. I've seen a lot of podcasts extracting little highlight clips and posting them as reels on Instagram. Then they add these fancy editings, captions, zoom-ins, transitions, making everything super appealing so people stop scrolling and pay attention to their content. And on days without podcast releases, they still have to post on Instagram to maintain consistency so that the algorithm keeps pushing their pages to more people. So, besides figuring out how to film and record the podcast itself, I also have to figure out how to do these things. And I'm not a digital marketing person. I'm not a digital marketing person. I mean, I do study business management. It's like one of those degrees where you get to learn a little bit of everything related to business. HR, marketing, finance, accounting. You touch on all of it. So yes, I did study marketing, but it was very much marketing 101, not specifically about digital marketing. Nobody taught me that. At first, when starting podcasts was just an idea in my head, this didn't really bother me. Because I'm Gen Z. I grew up with social media. I'm basically an iPad kid. I have my own Instagram account. I'm not super active. I'm not those people who post 10 stories a day or upload photos every other week. But I am active enough. I'm active enough. I have my own aesthetic, I know how I like my feed to look. So I thought, how hard could it be? Turns out, very hard. Because it's completely different from just doing a personal account. For a business account, I had to think about branding. Like, what are the brand colours? How should the cover art look? How do I make the post look more cohesive in those brand colours and typefaces? Actually, that part was okay. Not easy, but okay. I could figure that out. I could use some time, and I did figure it out. What was most challenging, I'd say, would be coming up with teaser ideas and highlight clips for Instagram and YouTube shorts. Because when I first started, I wanted to go big. I wanted to go fancy. I wanted like crazy editing, cool transitions, and motion graphics. I even thought about using AI. Because content nowadays are just so polished and impressive. And I genuinely felt that if I wanted the algorithm to notice me, if I wanted people to be interested and engaged with my content, then I had to become that crazy too. The problem was I don't have those skills. So naturally, I did what every perfectionist would do. I went to learn. I watched tutorials, and I experimented with functions on editing apps that I didn't really know or use. And as I kept learning, I realised I was spending way more time on these things than the actual podcast itself, like, the content. And honestly, I didn't enjoy that. It wasn't enjoyable. I don't enjoy editing. I know it's necessary, but I struggle with going advanced with it. And the deeper I got into it, the more unenjoyable the whole thing became. I started feeling really miserable. Because this no longer felt like a podcast I genuinely wanted to do. I wasn’t creating something I truly wanted to share. It felt more like I’m in some sort of digital marketing project or course, and I had this whole assignment thing that I needed to hand in, which I score higher, obviously, if I do well in editing and marketing it. So once again, I went back to the beginning. Apparently, the solution to all my life problems now, like whenever I get lost, I should probably ask myself: Why did I want to do this in the first place? It's just that I want to share the podcast itself. The medium I want to connect with you guys through is the content. It's not those like editing tricks designed that I'd like to grab your attention with. So then I decided I'm keeping things simple. If you guys have seen the teaser on Instagram, yep, I just did simple editing. Because, yes, I can't nail the fancy ones. And also, I don't think I actually need to. Am I still concerned that this means I won't get as much engagement as I would if I go crazy with marketing? Yes. Absolutely. But do I like it better this way? Also, yes. I'm actually someone who firmly believes in serendipity. I like the idea that somehow one day, if these simple reels or teaser find their way to your feed, you click onto it, you stay for 30 seconds, and turns out you somehow get interested, and then you listen to the whole long-ass podcast episode, then it turns out you actually like it. If that happens, then you're my people. You're exactly the kind of friend that I'd like to know and grab coffee with in real life. And that's pretty awesome for both of us. So yes, I'll still be learning, I'll still figure out trends and learn how to market this thing. But more in a way that instead of forcing myself to chase whatever's trending, I'd rather learn to work within my own style.

]If you have listened up to this point, if you have listened to this entire episode, first of all, thank you. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. Because this episode has been messy. I don't know if this is how people are supposed to do podcasts. I don't know if I'll listen back to this tomorrow and cringe at every single thing I said. Actually, I probably will. But I started anyway, and maybe that's the real lesson: about starting before you're ready. Because look at me, I don't know what I'm doing. I still overthink, I still question whether I'm good enough, I still am really afraid that things will turn out the worst way possible. But maybe you just got to start. Then slowly, through doing the thing, you'll become ready. Okay, I know I do sound like a motivational speaker right now. But anyway, if you're listening to this and there's something you've been putting off, whatever that is, like a hobby you've always wanted to try, a dream you've convinced yourself that you're not qualified for, let this be your sign. You just have to start without quite knowing how to.

Thank you for joining me for the very first episode of Coffee With JM. Now finish your coffee, take care of yourself, and I'll see you next Thursday. Bye.